the final countdown.

February 18, 2014February 19, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 34 Comments

Today’s musical interlude brought to you courtesy of Europe.

Bags are packed. All things baby have been set up, washed, placed and purchased.

Family and friends are all on standby. Camera batteries are fresh. Phones have been charged.

The boy is watching a movie to distract himself. I’m not quite sleepy, so I’m doing some editing work for a client, trying to take my mind off off what is in store for me tomorrow.

I’ve had my final meal of the day; I can’t eat anything after midnight.

I’ve cried. I’ve prayed. I requested that others do the same (pray, not cry).

I’ve done all that there is to do.

By this time tomorrow, I’ll be a mommy.

Un-freaking-believable.

Wish me luck, y’all.

weekend wrap-up: happy to be here.

February 16, 2014November 11, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 5 Comments

Get. Out.

Initial surprise notwithstanding, I have to say I’m pretty freaking happy that li’l miss is coming into the world a good week or so earlier than planned.

At 38w1d, I’m extremely uncomfortable. I know I keep bitching and moaning about it, but as anyone who has made it to this point (and sometimes beyond) can tell you, the last weeks aren’t much fun.

in the nude…
Currently, I don’t like wearing clothes. I haven’t bought a stitch of maternity gear, so the the few loose-fitting items I wore in month six, seven and even eight REALLY don’t fit me now. I’ve resorted to a pair of tights and pajama pants borrowed from mum, and a few stretchy tank tops. When I wear my own clothes, I look as though I’ve been stuffed into them. It’s impossible to look cute now, which is why I’ve pretty much stopped leaving the house. I’ve always been comfortable in the buff, but now that I’ve moved into ginormous territory, I am happiest in just my underwear (and even those feel too constricting at times) with a sheet covering me for modesty.

an announcement or two.

February 11, 2014February 15, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 2 Comments

Is this thing on?

This week has started out particularly rough; not only for a few bits and bobs of bad news (the boy lost his job today; more on that later), but because my physical state makes it harder and harder to sit comfortably upright for prolonged periods of time. I’ve spent most of the week propped up by pillows on a semi-incline, watching Netflix on the iPad, and feeling mostly grumpy and ready to have this baby out NOW.

I only made it out of the house once last week, and that was to see Dr. Freedman on the 6th. I was so bugged about being sleep-deprived, that I totally forgot to mention that that’s when she told me that she was bumping up the date for my C-Section to the 21st from the 28th.

But that was last week. Read more ›

my queendom for a nap.

February 6, 2014February 16, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 7 Comments

Yup, that’s about right.

My dear friend Ana* had a baby on the 27th of last month. As is typical of new moms, she went MIA from Facebook and most other social media for a few days after the birth. When she resurfaced to share news and pics of her new addition, catch up on emails, inquiries, and well-wishes, she made sure to send me a note bidding me good luck with my own impending arrival, and to outline the harrowing experience that was her (unexpected) C-section (gee, thanks). She ended the note with “sleep now! You won’t get any once the baby comes!! xo”

Now, Ana is not the EATBR that I mentioned earlier this week, but her last sentence caused a searing-hot rage to bubble forth within me, and I fought an overwhelming urge to write back with a curt, “Go f*ck yourself!”

There but for the grace of God, and the love and affection I have for her likely saved her life. Here’s why:
Read more ›

papa’s got a brand-new bag.

February 5, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 6 Comments

This conversation just happened between me and the boy…

Her: Babe, would you carry a diaper bag?

Him: What?

Her: Like, if you had to take Peanut out for a walk one day, would you carry her supplies in a diaper bag? Not like the one my mother got me – but perhaps a cross-body type thing? Like a mail bag, perhaps?

Him: Never thought about it.

Her: *Googles* Like this? It also comes in grey:

Him: What? Oh my God! (bursts into laughter)

Her: What? It’s a bag, not a PURSE.

Him: LOL!

Her: (exasperated) Have you never carried anything but a knapsack in your life?

Him: LOL!

Her: (fed up) Oh, grow up. And be happy I’m not suggesting that bag in this pattern:

Him: I like the first one.

🙂

TMI tuesdays: nose candy.

February 4, 2014February 4, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 3 Comments

viva el nasal occlusion!

I have a confession: I have become a serial nose-picker.

(Yet another!) one of the downsides of my pregnancy has been nasal congestion and the increase of all manner of yuck going on inside my nose. I have to constantly remind myself not to start excavating in polite company, and even as I type I can feel a small ‘n’ crusty wedged in the back of my right nostril.

I have never liked the feeling of anything at all in my nose, so I dedicate a good portion of my day to keeping the ol’ shnozzola sparkling. Tissue, fingers, cotton swabs – if it fits, it goes up and in to get the offending detritus out. I keep my nails long on purpose – not as digging tools (ewww 😀 ) but a deterrent; long nails and mucous membranes just don’t mix.

The backs of my hands are dry from all the hand-washing/sanitizing I do, on account of all the sniffer-scraping. I’ve always been fastidious about having clean hands, so as soon as my beak-cleaning business is done, it’s time to wash. Scrub-a-dub-dub…

I know. Grody, right? But I haven’t done a TMI in a while, and it’s one of the things that I can’t wait to be rid of once the wee girl makes her debut.

Don’t judge. Just pass the tissue.

happy full-term baby day!*

January 31, 2014February 4, 2014 by Joanne ♥ 4 Comments

(*My girlfriends sent me a message on Facebook with that very greeting. Aw.)

Good Lord. Today is 36 weeks. I am officially nine months pregnant. Aside from growing my hair, school, (and a stint living in Montreal), I’ve never done anything this difficult, for this long, in my life. 😀 I wanted to take another selfie to commemorate the occasion, but honestly, I’m feeling like I’ve got a watermelon strapped to my frame, and not at all very photogenic at the moment.

So instead, here’s a picture of a watermelon-as-baby.

I’m horrified, but I can’t. stop. laughing.

Oh, and speaking of watermelon, these:

Come on. SO cute. Much better than that thing I posted above.

I know this was a disappointing post. I’m sorry. I usually dislike when my favourite bloggers post nonsensical shit like this (assuming that I am one of your favourite bloggers). Never mind. I have a few posts in the works, so you’ll hear from me over the next coupla days. I’m feeling prolific; I might as well write while I can. I don’t know if I’ll have any energy at all to do so by next month.

Stay tuned.

this wasn't in the manual

I'm Joanne: freelancer/blogger/social media thingy and mommy to Aisha, a beautiful little girl with Down Syndrome.

Category: PREGNANCY