I see your 46 chromosomes, and raise you one.

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New Bean, who dis?

October is Down Syndrome Awareness  Month. I’ve been reading many of the ‘Gram posts from DS mommies whose stories are almost identical to mine: errant/concerning pr-screens during pregnancy, amnios to confirm a DS diagnosis, a push to terminate the pregnancy.

Amniocentesis is worrisome because it comes with a risk of miscarriage, but now there is a far less invasive test to confirm Down Syndrome and other chromosomal abnormalities – a simple blood test that makes it easier to diagnose.

According to some stats, a positive pre-natal diagnosis results in termination something like 92 per cent of the time. Continue reading

no need to apologize.

no-need-to-apologizeDon’t feel sorry for me; I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

A few months back I was wrapping up a meeting with a potential client, when the topic of children came up. I mentioned the blog and its title (“clever,” she said) and how it became even more apt when I learned of Aisha’s Down Syndrome diagnosis.

Her brow furrowed in concern and she reached out to touch my arm.

“Oh, your daughter has Down’s? I’m so sorry…” Continue reading

what, me worry?

the-which-asian-guy-is-right-for-me-guide-for-non-asian-girlssometimes a girl could tear her hair out.

My life has been fraught with anxiety for the better part of a year, now. It’s not the bills, squabbles with the boyfriend or any of your other run-of-the-mill daily annoyances…no, it’s something much bigger than that:

It’s Aisha.

Parent-friends (and sometimes, strangers), often say to parents to be – or even the childless: wait’ll you have kids; then you’ll see how much you worry. for as many times as I’ve heard and rolled my eyes at this nugget o’ wisdom, i’m now loathe to admit that it’s true.

I worry.

Continue reading

she’s a ten.

happy girl copyShe’s my star.

My little-big bean turned ten months about a week before Christmas and for some reason it was very emotional for me.

She is becoming very active now, rolling and army-crawling about to get to where and what she wants. I always knew she’d grow to be a stubborn little thing, and damned if the child hasn’t proved me right thus far. But she is also extremely loving and charming, ever-ready with a smile (any opportunity to show off her new teeth), and she makes me laugh-out-loud guffaw at least a couple times a day.

Parents of children with Down Syndrome are all too familiar with The List Of Things Your Child Won’t Ever Do, and for the most part, I’ve managed to ignore the naysayers and let the girl develop as she may, with a little help from her DT Patti and OT Amanda. Continue reading

sunshine of my life.

apple of my eyeApple of my eye.

Peanut is now about 10, 10 and a half pounds, and isn’t quite as easy to cradle her in my arms as it once was. When she was a six- or seven-pounder, I would hold her close and wrap her tightly in this marled grey sweater that I wear around the house.

The other day I was trying to get her to sleep; she’s quite squirmy now and wriggles a lot before nodding off. Just as her eyelids began to droop, I pulled the sweater around her and started rocking her slowly. I thought I detected a small smile (becoming more frequent these days), and it gave me a chuckle. Continue reading

my eyes, they sweat (and a wee TMI).

eye sweatGonna have to ask my doc about this salty discharge that’s been leaking from my eyes.

I’m a bundle of hormones lately. Got my first period since getting pregnant, and it has thrown me into another existential tailspin. I am sweaty. I am ravenous. I am retaining water. But most of all, I am SUPER emotional. I mean really, I can’t stand myself right now; I literally cannot handle all of life’s feels and I find myself busting a #thugcry at anything remotely sweet or touching.

To wit: I was watching Ellen the other day, and she had audience members participate in blindfolded musical chairs. The last girl standing (sitting?) won a great prize package…and then Ellen – with her generous ol’ self – ended up giving the losers the same prize as well. They were elated, jumping up and down, hugging each other, I laughed along with their joy, then all of a sudden someone started cutting onions in the room and I had to change the channel.

Peanut and I were hanging with the boy yesterday, and he reminded me that this May will be the first time I am a Mother’s Day giftee, as opposed to gifter…Totally stoked. Ha! He knows how to spoil a sista when the occasion calls for it, so I. Can’t. Wait. (Listen, he’s totally got the clean end of the stick when it comes to this whole parenthood thing. The one who wipes the poop gets the gift. Rules is rules.)

Speaking of salty discharge and special occasions, a friend of mind posted this link on Facebook and I completely lost it at the end. Here’s the write up and, peep the video after the jump.

Enjoy! Continue reading

down with one.

peanut and meHello, it’s been a while. Have you missed us?

Whew! I’ve been terribly delinquent. Being a new mommy is exhausting. This post has been in the works for over a week now…I sneak in edits while Peanut naps, and I hope I can finally finish before she wakes again for a feeding. I always knew children – babies in particular – required a lot of time and energy, but I had no idea just how much. Like the title of my blog suggests, there isn’t any guide to having kids…I’m learning as I go, and so far, so good.

Aisha will be seven weeks old on Wednesday, and while I missed blogging about the first month mini-celebration her father and I threw for her, I can certainly post some pics. 🙂 My mother teased us for being so treacly, but after what we’d been through with my pregnancy, and then the delivery (I know, I know, I’ll blog about it soon, I promise), it was our way of saying, “hooray, she’s here! Now let’s all drink some beer!” Continue reading