Gonna have to ask my doc about this salty discharge that’s been leaking from my eyes.

I’m a bundle of hormones lately. Got my first period since getting pregnant, and it has thrown me into another existential tailspin. I am sweaty. I am ravenous. I am retaining water. But most of all, I am SUPER emotional. I mean really, I can’t stand myself right now; I literally cannot handle all of life’s feels and I find myself busting a #thugcry at anything remotely sweet or touching.

To wit: I was watching Ellen the other day, and she had audience members participate in blindfolded musical chairs. The last girl standing (sitting?) won a great prize package…and then Ellen – with her generous ol’ self – ended up giving the losers the same prize as well. They were elated, jumping up and down, hugging each other, I laughed along with their joy, then all of a sudden someone started cutting onions in the room and I had to change the channel.

Peanut and I were hanging with the boy yesterday, and he reminded me that this May will be the first time I am a Mother’s Day giftee, as opposed to gifter…Totally stoked. Ha! He knows how to spoil a sista when the occasion calls for it, so I. Can’t. Wait. (Listen, he’s totally got the clean end of the stick when it comes to this whole parenthood thing. The one who wipes the poop gets the gift. Rules is rules.)

Speaking of salty discharge and special occasions, a friend of mind posted this link on Facebook and I completely lost it at the end. Here’s the write up and, peep the video after the jump.

Enjoy!

Here’s a pretty cool project from Mullen for a client we won’t immediately reveal, lest we spoil the surprise. (Scroll down to the bottom of credits, or watch the video to find out.)

Mullen, a Boston-based ad agency posted a job listing online for a “director of operations” position at a company called Rehtom Inc. The requirements sounded nothing short of brutal:

• Standing up almost all the time • Constantly exerting yourself • Working from 135 to unlimited hours per week • Degrees in medicine, finance and culinary arts necessary • No vacations • The work load goes up on Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s and other holidays • No time to sleep • Salary = $0

The job ad got 2.7 million impressions from paid ad placements. Only 24 people inquired. They interviewed via webcam, and their real-time reactions were captured on video.

Cue tissues.

Fack.